Children of the Corn (2023) Remake Wilts Under Laughable Execution
Title: Children of the Corn
First Non-Festival Release: March 3, 2023 (Limited Theatrical Release)
Director: Kurt Wimmer
Writer: Kurt Wimmer, Stephen King
Runtime: 93 Minutes
Starring: Elena Kampouris, Kate Moyer, Callan Mulvey
Where to Watch: Check out where to find it here
In the slowly dying town of Rylstone, Nebraska, the townspeople have decided to vote in favor of a resolution that would subsidize the farms for not producing corn, as the crop has failed for years despite pesticide and GMO intervention. This saddens Bo (Elena Kampouris) as she wants to study microbiology to find a way to save her town, which her father (Callan Mulvey) believes is beyond saving. The actions of the elders also infuriate Eden (Kate Moyer), an orphan who has taken to a bizarre relationship with the plants. Slowly, she convinces the kids of Rylstone to murder their parents and stage a coup for the town.
Tired bid for nostalgia Children of the Corn fails at resurrecting the long dead killer kid franchise in a passable manner.
The Children of the Corn franchise is not known for being exceptional in any way, so in theory, a remake could do wonders for reimagining the property. Unfortunately, this modern take fails to kickstart the heart of the story. Taking a slow burn approach to sew discord between the adults and children, the 2023 reboot offers up plenty of explanations for why the youth would uprise like they do. The explanations take away from the mystery while also taking the film down a familiar and tired take on the relationship between children and adults.
Absolutely jarring story decisions make Children of the Corn either laughable or impossible to follow. While the original certainly wasn’t the most believable or well-executed horror film, the way violence befalls the adults of the small town makes sense. It’s sudden, unexpected, and no-nonsense. This reboot approaches the idea in a more drawn-out way that loses the little believability the original had and somehow makes it even more of a slog to watch. The kids herd the adults from one location to another when they can easily dispose of them in sacrificial approved ways, which is an odd choice. Every second that the adults stay alive takes away the impact the story has on the viciousness of the kids.
If the bizarre narrative choices don’t take the viewer out of the film, the aesthetics will. Visually, the film just isn’t appealing. Despite some pretty views of endless corn fields, the film is draped in harsh lighting and odd saturation that makes the entire town look artificial. Resembling more of a quaint California suburb than a particularly rundown Nebraska farm town, the baffling set design choices make it difficult to get emersed in the story. So-so special effects work works in moments but truly distracts whenever the camera lingers.
The film’s sole bright spot comes in the way of its two leading women, Elena Kampouris and Kate Moyer. Given more of the emotional center of the film, Kampouris transforms Bo from insufferable but well-meaning know-it-all to a genuinely sly and bold fighter. While much of her dialogue is made to admonish others, Kampouris employs enough underlying empathy in her emotions to soften the blow to whoever she is speaking to, which becomes her signature move. Kate Moyer’s take on the gleefully justice-seeking Eden is more fun than anything. Moyer has a strong understanding of camp at young age, which is wonderful in a movie like Children of the Corn. While Eden is never terrifying in of herself, Moyer plays her in a way that you can’t help but be drawn to her presence onscreen.
The Children of the Corn franchise has more lows than highs, so it isn’t much of a surprise that the 2023 reboot isn’t much to hype. A string of odd writing decisions, poor production values, and unintentionally hilarious dialogue makes this cash grab easy to dismiss. Two solid lead performances and a general employment of camp cannot make up for the things it lacks, but it makes the final product watchable. If you have a soft spot for Children of the Corn, this is far from the worst film to grace the franchise and may be worth your time if you believe in it.
Overall Score? 4/10
